Many parents focus attention on their children’s grades and extracurricular activities, such as by making sure kids study, do their homeworks, and get to soccer practice or dance lessons on time. But all too often, we forget to put time and effort into nurturing another component of child success and development—one that is just as important, and perhaps even more essential—being a good person.
As mothers,below are the tips in training up a child in becoming a better person
1. Encourage them
2. Teach them to volunteer
3. Nurture Empathy
4. Offer rewards sparingly
5. Teach them good manners
6.Treat them with respect
7. Discipline Consistently
8. Teach Thankfulness
9. Model good behavior
*Encourage Them to Lift Up Others*
While stories about kids engaging in bullying and other bad behavior often make headlines, the truth is that many kids quietly perform good deeds in the ordinary course of their lives, whether it’s making a friend feel better when he’s down or pitching in at a community center.
As you encourage positive behaviors such as doing something to make someone’s day better (even something as small as patting a friend on the shoulder when they’re sad), be sure to talk about what negative effects behaviors like gossiping or bullying have on both sides (both those who are bullied and those who do the bullying), and why and how it hurts people.
*Teach Them to Volunteer*
Whether your child helps an elderly neighbor by shoveling the sidewalk or helps you pack some canned goods into boxes for donation to family shelters, the act of volunteering can shape your child’s character. When kids help others, they learn to think about the needs of those less fortunate than they are, and can feel proud of themselves for making a difference in others’ lives.
*Nurture Empathy in Your Child*
Emotional intelligence and empathy, or the ability to put oneself in someone else’s shoes and consider their feelings and thoughts, is one of the most fundamental traits in good people. Studies have shown that having a high emotional quotient—that is, being able to understand one’s own feelings and the feelings of others—is an important component of success in life.
*Offer Rewards Sparingly*
An important thing to remember when encouraging kids to help others is to not reward them for every single good deed. That way, your child won’t associate volunteering with getting things for himself and will learn that feeling good about helping others will be in itself a reward.
That’s not to say you shouldn’t occasionally take your child out for a special treat or give them a gift for helping others AND for working hard and studying hard.
Kids love encouragement and thrive on parents’ approval. An occasional reward is a great way to show him how thankful you are for the good they did.
*Teach Them Good Manners*
Does your child routinely practice the fundamentals of good manners such as saying “Thank you” and “Please”? Does she speak in a polite manner to people and address elders as “Mr.” and Ms.”? Does she know how to greet people properly, and is she familiar with the basics of good table manners? Is she a gracious loser when she plays a game with friends?
Remember that you are raising a person who will go out into the world and interact with others for the rest of her life. (And this little person, as she grows, will be at the dinner table with you and interacting with you every day until she leaves the nest.) You can play an important role in shaping how well-mannered your child will be.
*Treat Them With Kindness and Respect*
The most effective way to get kids to speak to you and to others in a respectful way and to interact with others in a nice manner is by doing exactly that yourself when you interact with your child. Think about how you speak to your child.
Do you speak harshly when you’re not happy about something? Do you ever yell or say things that are not nice? Consider your own way of speaking, acting, and even thinking, and try to choose a friendly and polite tone and manner with your child, even when you are talking to him about a mistake or misbehavior
*Discipline Consistently*
Parents who hold back on giving children boundaries or firmly (but lovingly) correcting bad behavior may actually be harming their child with good intentions. Children who are not disciplined are unpleasant, selfish, and surprisingly unhappy.
Some of the many reasons why we need to discipline include the fact that children who are given clear rules, boundaries, and expectations are responsible, more self-sufficient, are more likely to make good choices and are more likely to make friends and be happy. As soon as you see behavior problems such as lying or backtalk, handle them with love, understanding, and firmness.
*Teach Them to Be Thankful*
Teaching your child how to be grateful and how to express that gratitude is a key component of raising a good child. Whether it’s for a meal you’ve prepared for dinner or for a birthday gift from Grandma and Grandpa, teach your child to say thank you. For things like gifts for birthdays and holidays, be sure your child gets into the habit of writing thank you cards.
*Model Good Behavior*
Consider how you interact with others, even when your child isn’t watching. Do you say “Thank you” to the checkout clerk at the market? Do you steer clear of gossip about neighbors or co-workers? Do you use a friendly tone when addressing waiters? It goes without saying that you directly influence how your children will be. If you want to raise a good child, conduct yourself in the way you want your child to act.
