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Tips to Improving Sex Life

by Women Times on

How to Enjoy More Fulfilling Sex

Closeup of woman sitting on man’s lap, her face leaning towards his, amorous looks on both of their faces

Whether the problem is big or small, there are many things you can do to get your sex life back on track. Your sexual well-being goes hand in hand with your overall mental, Physically

what is sex? 

On one level, sex is just another hormone-driven bodily function designed to perpetuate the species. Of course, that narrow view underestimates the complexity of the human sexual response. In addition to the biochemical forces at work, your experiences and expectations help shape your sexuality. Your understanding of yourself as a sexual being, your thoughts about what constitutes a satisfying sexual connection, and your relationship with your partner are key factors in your ability to develop and maintain a fulfilling sex life.

Talking to your partner

Many couples find it difficult to talk about sex even under the best of circumstances. When sexual problems occur, feelings of hurt, shame, guilt, and resentment can halt conversation altogether. Because good communication is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship, establishing a dialogue is the first step not only to a better sex life, but also to a closer emotional bond. Here are some tips for tackling this sensitive subject.

Find the right time to talk.

There are two types of sexual conversations: the ones you have in the bedroom and the ones you have elsewhere. It’s perfectly appropriate to tell your partner what feels good in the middle of lovemaking, but it’s best to wait until you’re in a more neutral setting to discuss larger issues, such as mismatched sexual desire or orgasm troubles.

Avoid Criticizing

Couch suggestions in positive terms, such as, “I really love it when you touch my hair lightly that way,” rather than focusing on the negatives. Approach a sexual issue as a problem to be solved together rather than an exercise in assigning blame.

Confide in your partner about

changes in your body. If hot flashes are keeping you up at night or menopause has made your vagina dry, talk to your partner about these things. It’s much better that he know what’s really going on rather than interpret these physical changes as lack of interest.

Be honest.

You may think you’re protecting your partner’s feelings by faking an orgasm, but in reality you’re starting down a slippery slope. As challenging as it is to talk about any sexual problem, the difficulty level skyrockets once the issue is buried under years of lies, hurt, and resentment.

Don’t equate love with sexual performance
Create an atmosphere of caring and tenderness;touch and kiss often. Don’t blame yourself or your partner for your sexual difficulties. Focus instead on maintaining emotional and physical intimacy in your relationship.

For older couples:

Another potentially sensitive subject that’s worth discussing is what will happen after one partner dies. In couples who enjoy a healthy sex life, the surviving partner will likely want to seek out a new partner.

Expressing your openness to that possibility while you are both still alive will likely relieve guilt and make the process less difficult for the surviving partner later.

Here are some things you can try at home.

Educate yourself. Plenty of good self-help materials are available for every type of sexual issue.

Browse the Internet or your local bookstore, pick out a few resources that apply to you, and use them to help you and your partner become better informed about the problem. If talking directly is too difficult, you and your partner can underline passages that you particularly like and show them to each others that can enhance your sex life.

Give yourself time.

As you age, your sexual responses slow down. You and your partner can improve your chances of success by finding a quiet, comfortable, interruption-free setting for sex. Also, understand that the physical changes in your body mean that you’ll need more time to get aroused and reach orgasm.

When you think about it, spending more time having sex isn’t a bad thing; working these physical necessities into your lovemaking routine can open up doors to a new kind of sexual experience.

Use lubrication.

Often, the vaginal dryness that begins in perimenopause can be easily corrected with lubricating liquids and gels. Use these freely to avoid painful sex—a problem that can snowball into flagging libido and growing relationship tensions. When lubricants no longer work, discuss other options with your doctor.

Maintain physical affection.

Even if you’re tired, tense, or upset about the problem, engaging in kissing and cuddling is essential for maintaining an emotional and physical bond.

Practice touching.

Try different positions. Developing a repertoire of different sexual positions not only adds interest to lovemaking, but can also help overcome problems.

You must be sexually aroused to be able to locate your G-spot. To find it, try rubbing your finger in a beckoning motion along the roof of your vagina while you’re in a squatting or sitting position, or have your partner massage the upper surface of your vagina until you notice a particularly sensitive area. Some women tend to be more sensitive and can find the spot easily, but for others it’s difficult.

If you can’t easily locate it, you shouldn’t worry. During intercourse, many women feel that the G-spot can be most easily stimulated when the man enters from behind. For couples dealing with erection problems, play involving the G-spot can be a positive addition to lovemaking.

Oral stimulation of the clitoris combined with manual stimulation of the G-spot can give a woman a highly intense orgasm.

Write down your fantasies.

This exercise can help you explore possible activities you think might be a turn-on for you or your partner. Try thinking of an experience or a movie that aroused you and then share your memory with your partner. This is especially helpful for people with low desire.

Do Kegel exercises.

Both men and women can improve their sexual fitness by exercising their pelvic floor muscles. To do these exercises, tighten the muscle you would use if you were trying to stop urine in midstream. Hold the contraction for two or three seconds, then release. Repeat 10 times. Try to do five sets a day. These exercises can be done anywhere—while driving, sitting at your desk, or standing in a checkout line. At home, women may use vaginal weights to add muscle resistance. Talk to your doctor or a sex therapist about where to get these and how to use them.

Try to relax.

Do something soothing together before having sex, such as playing a game or going out for a nice dinner. Or try relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises or yoga.

Use a vibrator.

This device can help a woman learn about her own sexual response and allow her to show her partner what she likes.

Don’t give up.

If none of your efforts seem to work, don’t give up hope. Your doctor can often determine the cause of your sexual problem and may be able to identify effective treatments. He or she can also put you in touch with a sex therapist who can help you explore issues that may be standing in the way of a fulfilling sex life.

Maintaining good health

Your sexual well-being goes hand in hand with your overall mental, physical, and emotional health. Therefore, the same healthy habits you rely on to keep your body in shape can also shape up your sex life

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Relationship

Tips to a Happy Marriage Every Woman should Know

by Women Times on

Going into marriage is not a child play. It requires a lot of commitments and dedication. As a woman planning to get married, you must have a rethink before going into it.

Marriage is an institution you can never graduate from, irrespective of your educational background or any certificate you are carrying.

Marriage is until death do us part between the two couples. So going into marriage is a serious commitment.

Below are the few tips to getting a successful marriage.

 1. Look for someone with similar values

“For long-lasting love, the more similarity (e.g., age, education, values, personality, hobbies), the better. Partners should be especially sure that their values match before getting into marriage.

Although other differences can be accommodated and tolerated, a difference in values is particularly problematic if the goal is long-lasting love.

Another secret for a long marriage: Both partners need to commit to making it work, no matter what. The only thing that can break up a relationship are the partners themselves.”

2. Never take your partner for granted

“This may sound obvious, but you can’t imagine how many people come to couples therapy too late, when their partner is done with a relationship and wants to end it.

It is very important to realize that everyone potentially has a breaking point, and if their needs are not met or they don’t feel seen by the other, they will more than likely find it somewhere else.

Many people assume that just because they are OK without things they want so is their partner. ‘No relationship is perfect’ shouldn’t be used as a rationalization for complacency.”

3. Stop trying to be each other’s “everything”

‘You are my everything’ is a lousy pop-song lyric and an even worse relationship plan. No one can be ‘everything’ to anyone. Create relationships outside The Relationship, or The Relationship isn’t going to work anymore.”

4. Do or say something daily to show your appreciation

“Saying and doing small, simple expressions of gratitude every day yields big rewards. When people feel recognized as special and appreciated, they’re happier in that relationship and more motivated to make the relationship better and stronger.

And when I say simple, I really mean it. Make small gestures that show you’re paying attention: Hug, kiss, hold hands, buy a small gift, send a card, fix a favorite dessert, put gas in the car, or tell your partner, ‘You’re sexy,’ ‘You’re the best dad,’ or ‘Thank you for being so wonderful.’

5. Make sure you’re meeting your partner’s needs

“The number one thing I have learned about love is that it is a trade and a social exchange, not just a feeling. Loving relationships are a process by which we get our needs met and meet the needs of our partners too.

When that exchange is mutually satisfying, then good feelings continue to flow. When it is not, then things turn sour, and the relationship ends.

That is why it is important to pay attention to what you and your partner actually do for each other as expressions of love… not just how you feel about each other in the moment.”

6. Don’t forget to keep things hot

“Many times people become increasingly shy with the person they love the more as time goes by. Partners begin to take their love for granted and forget to keep themselves turned on and to continue to seduce their partner.

Keep your ‘sex esteem’ alive by keeping up certain practices on a regular basis. This allows you to remain vibrant, sexy, and engaged in your love life.”

7. Don’t just go for the big O

“Sex isn’t just about orgasms. It’s about sensation, emotional intimacy, stress relief, improved health (improved immune and cardiovascular system), and increased emotional bonding with your partner, thanks to the wonderful release of hormones due to physical touch. There are many more reasons to have sex than just getting off.”

8. Remove the pressure on performance

“The penis-vagina model of sex comes with pressures, such as having an orgasm at the same time or the idea that an orgasm should happen with penetration. With these strict expectations come a pressure on performance that ultimately leads many to feel a sense of failure and frustration.

Instead, try to expand your concept of sex to include anything that involves close, intimate connection with your partner, such as sensual massages, taking a nice shower or bath together, reading an erotic story together, playing with some fun toys… the possibilities are endless.

And if orgasm happens, great, and if not, that’s OK too. When you expand your definition of sex and lower the pressure on orgasm and penetration, the anxiety around performance dissipates and your satisfaction can escalate.”

9. Try a nicer approach

“Research has shown that the way a problem is brought up determines both how the rest of that conversation will go and how the rest of the relationship will go. Many times an issue is brought up by attacking or blaming one’s partner, also known as criticism, and one of the killers of a relationship.

So start gently. Instead of saying, ‘You always leave your dishes all over the place! Why can’t you pick anything up?’ try a more gentle approach, focusing on your own emotional reaction and a positive request.

For example: ‘I get annoyed when I see dishes in the living room. Would you please put them back in the kitchen when you’re finished?’”

10. It’s not what you fight about — it’s how you fight

“Researchers have found that four conflict messages are able to predict whether couples remain together or get divorced: contempt, criticism, stonewalling (or withdrawal), and defensiveness.

Together, they’re known as ‘The Four Horsemen.’ Instead of resorting to these negative tactics, fight fairly: Look for places where each partner’s goal overlaps into a shared common goal and build from that. Also, focus on using ‘I’ versus ‘you’ language.”

Communication is the key to a healthy relationship. However, many people aren’t certain what they should be communicating about. Spend time talking about a variety of topics to grow together as a couple and to prevent your relationship from becoming stale. Below are the tips

1.Your Daily Activities

All of your conversations don’t have to be earth shattering. Spend time talking about your day-to-day activities. Discuss what time you woke up, what you ate for lunch, or what you discussed with a co-worker and help your partner understand what happens when you’re apart.

2.Money

Talk about your budget. Discuss your saving and spending habits. If you combine your finances, set some financial goals and discuss strategies to help you reach those goals.

3. Places You Want to Explore

Start a conversation about the places you’d like to visit. Whether you want to travel to your grandmother’s house or you want to go on a cruise around the world, a discussion about travel can spark a lot of new conversation.

4.Emotional Growth

Share some information about your emotional growth. If you notice you’ve become wiser, less reactive, or more compassionate, share that with your partner. Point out the emotional growth you see in your partner as well.

5.Individual Goals

It’s healthy to have individual goals. Whether you want to lose weight, learn how to prepare Chinese food, or learn how to line dance, set some goals for yourself and discuss those goals with your partner.How Fulfilled Are You In Your Life?

6.Spiritual Beliefs

Start conversations about your spiritual beliefs. Be willing to listen to your partner’s beliefs and be open to talking about the similarities and differences in your beliefs.

7.What You’re Watching on TV

Although watching TV isn’t an active way to grow together as a couple, discussing what you’re watching can help you learn something new about one another.

8.Politics

You don’t have to agree on politics in order to have a discussion about it. You can learn a lot about your partner if you have a conversation about politics. Any healthy relationship should allow each partner to feel respected enough to share an opinion, even if it opposes the other partner’s opinion.

 9. Goals to Address as a Couple

Discuss the goals you want to reach together as a couple. All healthy relationships should include shared goals for the future. Whether your goal is to volunteer at a homeless shelter together or save enough money for a new car, working together to reach your goal can help you stay close as a couple.

10. Your Past

Your partner doesn’t need to know every skeleton in your closet. However, sharing information about your past can be very helpful. Talk about your childhood, past experiences, or obstacles you’ve overcome. You can also share how much you’ve learned and changed over the years.

11.Your Values

It’s important to share your values with one another. Talk about your priorities in life. It’s important for your partner to know how you feel about work, family, education, friends, and leisure time. Let your partner know what types of things you value the most and what changes you may want to make to ensure that you’re living according to your values

 12. Your Dreams

Daydreaming together can be a great activity in any healthy relationship. Discuss dreams you had as a child, dreams you’ve let go, and dreams you still hold onto.

13. Your Feelings

Of course, talking about your feelings is an important part of communication. Be willing to share your joys and sorrows with your partner. Also, be willing to talk about what makes you feel angry, when you’re disappointment, and when you feel embarrassed or hurt.

14.Family

Whether you’ve got a close relationship with your family or not, talking about family can be important. It can give your partner an inside look at what type of childhood you had as well as what type of relationship you have with your family members. Discuss how you want your family to be different from your family of origin, as well as which aspects you want to replicate.

15.Your Relationship

Discuss the aspects of your relationship that are working well and make sure to also discuss problematic areas. Talking openly about your relationship can ensure your relationship stays fresh and exciting.

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Relationship

Tips to a Healthy Relationship

by Women Times on

Every relationship is unique, and people come together for many different reasons. However, there are also some characteristics that most healthy relationships have in common, such as mutual respect, trust, and honesty. In a strong, healthy relationship you also:

What should You Talk About in a new Relationship

Maintain a meaningful emotional connection with each other. You each make the other feel loved and emotionally fulfilled.

 You need to feel safe to express things that bothers you without fear of retaliation, and be able to resolve conflict without humiliation, degradation, or insisting on being right.

Communicate openly and honestly. Good communication is a key part of any relationship. When both people know what they want from the relationship and feel comfortable expressing their needs, fears, and desires, it can increase trust and strengthen the bond between you.

Things to know when you are single

 1.Your Daily Activities

All of your conversations don’t have to be earth shattering. Spend time talking about your day-to-day activities. Discuss what time you woke up, what you  ate for lunch, or what you discussed with a co-worker and help your partner understand what happens when you’re apart.

2.Money

Talk about your budget. Discuss your saving and spending habits. If you combine your finances, set some financial goals and discuss strategies to help you reach those goals.

3. Places You Want to Explore

Start a conversation about the places you’d like to visit. Whether you want to travel to your grandmother’s house or you want to go on a cruise around the world, a discussion about travel can spark a lot of new conversation.

4.Emotional Growth

Share some information about your emotional growth. If you notice you’ve become wiser, less reactive, or more compassionate, share that with your partner. Point out the emotional growth you see in your partner as well.

5.Individual Goals

It’s healthy to have individual goals. Whether you want to lose weight, learn how to prepare Chinese food, or learn how to line dance, set some goals for yourself and discuss those goals with your partner.

Reasons why you are still single

1, Too choosy

Being too choosy reduces the number of potential partners, obviously. And the more choosy one is, the higher the likelihood of being single for a while longer.

2.No one is asking

Another reason why some  are single is because no one is asking. This is often because potential partners think they are already taken or because they’re giving off a vibe of someone who is disinterested or unready.

3.Waiting to be successful

For some others, guys especially, the need to be successful comes before the search for bae.

4.Afraid of intimacy

For some reason, some people are single because they are scared and unwilling to open up themselves to the intimacy and affection that relationships are known for.

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Relationship

Importance of Sex in Marriage

by Women Times on

Many women dreams of getting married most especially when they’ve clocked 25 years of age or in their late 20s they become more anxious to getting married yet they lack the importance of sexual intercourse in marriage. I’ve been able to gather 10 importance of marriage to the married couples and also those planning to get married. Below are the 10 importance of sex in marriage

1 . Having sex relieves headaches. Every time you make love , it releases the tension in the veins of the brain.

2 . A lot of sex can clear the stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine . It helps to fight against asthma and spring allergies .

3 . Making love is a spectacular beauty treatment. Scientists have discovered that when a woman has sex , it produces a large amount of estrogen that gives shine and softness to hair.

4 . Sex is one of the safest sports. Make love often strengthens the muscles of male and female body. It’s more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps in the pool and there is not need special shoes!

5 . Make love slowly , smoothly and in a relaxed way reduces the chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and acne . The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow .

6 . Lovemaking can burn all the calories you have accumulated during the romantic dinner before bedtime.

7 . Sex is a divine remedy for depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream , creating a state of euphoria and leaving women and men with the feeling of being unique.

8 . Sex is the tranquilizer and muscle relaxant to a safer world . It is a thousand times more effective than Valium .

9 . Sexually active body releases more pheromones.

10 . Kissing each day will keep you more time away from the dentist . Kissing is an art which makes the cleaner teeth and saliva reduces the amount of acid that causes tooth decay . This prevention eliminates many problems , in addition to offering a breath constantly renewed.

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HealthRelationship

Health Benefits of Orgasm to Women

by Women Times on

Female Orgasm is also known as climax . It is usually achieved when a woman is sexually satisfied. Female Orgasm is a good thing.

One of the ways women can experience orgasm is through a goal-oriented.

– Orgasm is very good for the health of women, it makes you look young both inside and outside.

– It reduce risks of heart attack.

– It releases you of stress and makes you sleep well and deeply.

– It releases hormones to the brain which reduces tension.

We learnt that orgasm is the most sweetest thing a woman can experience in this wide world and that it takes place just within some seconds during sexual intercourse and only 2 out of 5 women experience it.

Below are some tips for women to follow so they can get to the point of orgasm.

– Free your mind, body and soul before going to bed, tune your spirit to sex, put your mind on it even before your husband comes to bed.

– Above all, take more of DATES AND VITAMIN B, it makes you get horny.

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RelationshipWomen of Substance

Women Needs One Another

by Women Times on

I’m a woman

You are a woman

We are women

Women are born queens and if you see your sister’s crown not properly seated on her head, help her wear her crown right rather than pull it down.Be one another’s keeper.

Do not talk down on her…That you are married today does not mean you are better than her…

That she is a Single mum or divorced does not make her a failure…

That she is a widow does not make her disadvantaged…

That you or your husband is richer than her or her husband does not make her classless…

That she doesn’t have kids does not make her lesser than a woman or barren…

That you have made it in life and she is still struggling doesn’t mean she is useless, no one knows tomorrow…

That you are more educated than her does not make her your moron…

That you are in a higher authority should not be used to belittle/intimidate her…

CROWN her a QUEEN even when you know you are ‘better’ than her…

Women go through a lot and need UPLIFTMENT/ENCOURAGEMENT from one another…

It does not cost anything to uplift your fellow woman…

It will only cost you removal of ENVY, JEALOUSY, HATRED, WICKEDNESS, BITTERNESS, ARROGANCE, UNHEALTHY COMPETITION to uplift a fellow woman…

No woman is Ugly, we are all beautifully made in the image and likeness of God…

Never you stand where your fellow woman is being talked down or destroyed…

So to all women, we are QUEENS AND PRINCESSES,YOU ARE ALL CROWN, beautifully crown your fellow women

 

 

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HealthRelationship

How to Naturally Boost Sex Libido

by Women Times on

 

Sex is so Paramount in marriage, it is meant to be enjoyed by the both parties. And when it’s comes in the other way round, necessary action needs to be taken.

Here are some natural way to boost your sexual life. Hausas the northern part of Nigeria calls it KAYAMATA .Women can prepare this and be taken by the both parties i.e husband and wife.

 INGREDIENTS 

▪Tigernut/aya(dry one)

▪Coconut

▪Dates/dabino

▪Ginger

Tigernut milk is one of the most powerful ancient food source known to humanity and used traditionally to stimulate sexual arousal, treatment of week erection, premature ejaculation in men and boosting of breast milk supply in breastfeeding mothers.

This drink is a libido booster in both men and women. It gets you or your man in the mood for sex…so I will say if you are not married, please copy and save the recipe till then but if you a married try it, it works like magic.

If your husband is the quicky type, no wahala give him this drink daily, don’t even tell him the work just prepare yourself and be ready for action…. in fact, hmmmmmm! 

METHOD:

1.Soak the dry tiger nut in a generous quantity of water for about 24 hours or overnight.

2.After the soaking, wash the nuts very well and sort out the bad ones.

3.Soak the dates for like 10minutes to soften it and remove d seed inside

4.Add coconut, ginger and tigernut

5.Put them in a blender and blend till it is smooth

6.After blending use a cheese or chiffon cloth to sieve the blended mixture.

 

B.WOMEN’S WET/LIBIDO

ENGLISH NAME: snot apple (African chew gum) 

BOTANICAL NAME: Azanza Garckeana

Nigeria local name : Goron Tula(Hausa)

This fruit helps woman enjoy orgasm, and also wetness for those who suffer from

*vagina dryness

*Low libido

* Not being able to satisfy your spouse or     partner

HOW TO USE GORON TULA

The fruits are eaten when ripe. They are chewed like gum producing a sweet taste .This is probably why it is given the name African Chewing gum.

Some people dry them and reconstitute later. The fruits could be soaked in a small amount of water to make jelly or they could also be boiled to make porridge.

Preferred form are mixed with warm water and honey if desired

BENEFITS OF GORON TULA

Goron Tula comes as a natural remedy to solve this serious problem and much more. This fruit is to make ladies wet and ready for sex while also making men enjoy having sex with their partners. 

Every woman needs a wet vagina to have a heightened sexual experience. 

Goron Tula fruit is just what every woman needs to fix this problem and upgrade their sex game. The good news is; this fruit does not have a side effect, unlike artificial lubricants. It is a complete package of natural goodness and awesomeness

A stimulating lubricant for sexual intense for women.

This wonder nut has been a secondary remedy for sexual erectile dysfunction in men as well.

It is also used to promote better sexual urge and gratification, a stimulating lubricant for sexual experiences.

Boost fertility level in women looking to conceive. GoronTula, which is experimentaly proven and tested with both practical and laboratory tests was certified to increases fertility amongst women who find difficulty conceiving by balancing Menstrual cycle and Cramp issues.

Boost fertility level in women looking to conceive.

Helps juicy vagina wetness naturally with no need of using artificial lubricants.The singular fact that the fruit is sexually beneficial has accorded it more attention than the other numerous benefits it provides. For so many reasons, vagina dryness can be a very terrible experience and causes pains during sex making sex boring, uninteresting and unenjoyable and particularly is a big turn off for men.

A natural cleanser of vagina walls.

Helps to keep the vagina walls clean as a result of the wetness. No bad odor whatsoever. It’s a natural Vagina wall cleanser.

Excellent for menopausal women who do not produce enough vagina wetness or do not desire sex.Balances female hormones

It increases the female & male low libido

It tastes slimy sweet and slippery in your mouth when eating it. this fruit will upgrade your sex level to the fullest.

Among others benefit . The best way is to buy grinded ones and soak with honey or water and be drinking morning and night.

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Relationship

What To Do When Couples Become Roommates, Not Sex Partners

by Women Times on

By Funmi Akingbade

A few days ago I got a call from one of my numerous readers, a couple who wanted to see me by all means despite the heavy downpour. I insisted the appointment could be rescheduled due to the heavy rain but they insisted on seeing me.

On getting to my office the wife spoke first; ‘she said they wanted to see me because of the question their eight-year-old son’s posted to them which they could not honestly answer. Their son had asked: “why does daddy always sleep on the couch?” in the middle of the couple’s conversation.

She continued: “We raised eyebrows at each other across the table, and looked at each other knowing fully that our little boy spilled the “secret” of our sexual dryness and drifting apart. Even though my husband tried to make him believe otherwise by saying “Your mom and I still sleep in our bed together,” but the boy quickly replied “Just not always anymore.”

“This is why we are here the wife said. We want you to tell us all we need to know so as not to drift apart sexually any longer.

No matter how you say it, marriage and a double sex-filled bed should go hand in hand. Cuddling under cover night after night, initiating endless intimacy and sex makes marriage healthy.

But sometimes sex gets lost in the shuffle of schedules and couples generally react to a bad case of drifting apart by either viewing sex as something to do and just get over. Or sometimes introduce pornography into their bedrooms, dangerously comparing their spouses to porn stars.

Needless to say that couples can choose to use a dull time in their sex lives to reinvent it, to refresh themselves, and restore their closeness.

Here are some ideas to jumpstart your sex life and gets it sizzling again. Make sex a priority; go to the extent of writing it on your calendar if you’re having trouble finding the time.

While sex is certainly not the biggest part of a marriage, it is a fairly accurate measure of the health of your marriage. It will enhance your sleep and your energy levels so plan for the first week to have sex every night for a week. Yes, that includes the weekend! Why? Researchers say having sex usually begets the desire to have more.

Ask your spouse what he or she needs. Men are different from women. Women need a reason; men just need a place. Men, if you truly want to touch your wife’s body, touch her heart first. Talk with her. Consider chatting her up in the kitchen as a form of foreplay!

If you have young children, take over bedtime duties and give your wife precious time to make the transition from mommy to sex goddess! Honour her and be sensitive to her needs.

Women, if you truly want to have a great intimate relationship, stop treating your man like he’s a rapist because he wants to have sex. This is his God-given desire and his best way of connecting with you.

In general terms, sex might well be more important to men than to women. So make the most of it. Make it your goal to make every room in your house sexually appealing. Get creative, try a fashion show with lingerie – greet your husband at the dinner table wearing his tie and nothing else. Even if you breast is sagging make sure you are under a blowing fan, the cool air will temporarily firm up the breast making your nipple stand out and this will appeal to him greatly, or wake him in the middle of the night for sex wearing his favorite colour hat. Send a text for his eyes only.

Like this couple visiting my office, sometimes some couple need more than the ordinary to revival their sex life and create a passionate heat between them. For instance a very advance version of doggy style has been of tremendous help to many of my clients.

So as my habit is I did not hesitate to introduce this ‘wonder working’ ‘all in one’ ‘ever ready to revive style’ to my visiting couple. This style can be practiced by any couple regardless of their age, years of sexual starvation or health condition.

Most importantly, the advantage of this result-proven style is that it helps couples to experience erotic sensation and gain back lost feelings.

QUESTION ONE

I think my sex drive is normal, and I love having sex with my husband. But lately I feel turned off because he seems to expect sex as a reward for everything. If he gives me money to fix my hair, if he spends time listening to my problems, if he takes me out to see my parent, he expects to be rewarded with sex. I hate feeling obligated. Do I owe my husband sex?

Married life works best when both partners focus on ways to express love and meet each other’s needs. It would be good for you to try to change the way you interpret his interest in sex. If your husband communicates his sexual desires in those terms, try to see his desire for frequent sex as an opportunity for you to show love. Of course, we hope your husband will start communicating his needs in a less demanding way, but you can still choose how you want to interpret those requests. Your husband may be trying to win your heart by performing acts of kindness and service and I personally think you should be happy because out there are countless wives who would give anything to have what you want to throw away. I think this should be a fun experiment for you.

QUESTION TWO

My wife and I have sex regularly, but it’s always the same and I’m bored with it. The problem is when I try to spice things up, my wife becomes shy or embarrassed. Then I feel like a hunter ready to devour a prey, forcing changes where she doesn’t want them. I’ve heard that sex between married people should get better and better, but that’s not true for us. What can I do?

Commonly, women prefer sameness and men prefer variation. That’s just part of the fascination and frustration of being male and female. Often for men the fantasies about sexual variety are more exciting than the actual experience of some exotic position. For a woman, those experiments may feel aggressive because she’s uncertain how they’ll feel or how well she’ll perform. If you can talk to your wife about your feelings and listen to hers, it could lead to some helpful negotiating. Learning to adapt to each other’s wishes and needs is what marriage is all about. Being the one to “give in” or make changes is often hard, but it will improve your relationship. Marriage requires some give and take from both partners.

QUESTION THREE

When I got married six years ago, I was glad to see that my wife likes things orderly. She is much neater than I am which is great. But her desire for cleanliness has its downside when it comes to sex. Even though I shower and shave beforehand, the smells and fluids associated with intercourse bother her so much that we’ve rarely had sex for more than two years. Instead, I am now having sex with her best friend. I know it’s wrong but her friend doesn’t reject me like she does.

Share with your wife your concern for her total sexual enjoyment as well as your desire for the closeness that genital sexual union provides. Taking to adultery few years into your marriage will not help. There may seems to be some question about your wife’s desire for sexual play and orgasmic release that you may need to know if it is simply the messiness of ejaculation that’s bothering her, then try using a condom (which would contain the ejaculate) or having intercourse in the shower (where ejaculate would be promptly washed away). Keep in mind that sex for her isn’t just sex – as it may be for you. Women tend to express their sexuality as inseparable from their feelings and relationship desires.

QUESTION FOUR

My husband and I have been married three months. On our honeymoon, he got a bad chest cold, and let’s just say the honeymoon wasn’t what I had been waiting for all those years. Both my husband and I were virgins when we married, and I thought that our sex life would be exciting and unstoppable once he felt better. Now, three months later, I am the one who makes the move to get intimate. It doesn’t seem to bother him. He thinks that because he use to fast and prayed a lot while single to keep the sexual thoughts away, now that he’s married he is just still in that mode he can’t seems to come out of that. My question is how I am sure he is not lying to me? Can one fast and pray to the extent that he will not have any sexual feeling in this time and age?

Human levels of sexual drive are on a variety of levels rather than being uniform. Just as most men have a higher desire for sexual play and intercourse and most women less interest, individual differences may reverse this usual pattern.

Each of you should explore openly and honestly your deepest attitudes about sex. How did you learn about sex and what were your earliest sexual experiences? What were the constraints that helped you maintain your virginity? Are there expectations about sexual “performance” that present anxiety when you approach sexual interaction? Understanding yourselves and each other may help you find a more agreeable level of interaction. I’d also like to emphasize the delightful journey toward marital oneness. I fully understand how long three months of newly wedded sexuality may seem, but want to encourage you to be patient. If, in fact, prior to marriage your husband had been fasting and praying to reduce his sexual thoughts and drive, it may take some time for those patterns of denial to diminish. Your patient acceptance of his sexuality can help him overcome those old inhibitions. Affirm and reward his interest and continue to invite him gently whenever you want.

QUESTION FIVE

My husband does not have a problem getting an erection, nor does he lack desire to have sex, but he almost never ejaculates. Is it possible for a man to feel satisfied by intercourse even though he does not ejaculate? I know he used to be able to ejaculate years ago but cannot now. Can you help us out here? I enjoy sex and want to make sure he does too.

It’s important to recognize the full extent of the male sexual response. The arousal phase marked by erection also includes other physiological changes including increase in heart rate and blood pressure, rate of breathing, flushing of the skin, increase in muscle tension, nasal congestion as the “erectile tissue” of the nasal cavity become engorged, lubrication of the urethra (producing a sticky discharge from the end of the penis), and a shifting of blood to the pelvic area. As orgasm approaches, all of these changes increase until the orgasmic release occurs. Orgasm is most obviously signaled by ejaculation, the forceful emission of seminal fluid from the penis. This produces only a part of the pleasurable sensation of the orgasm. The contractions of the vas deferens and outer leg muscles in a rhythmic cycle; the intense muscular contraction of large muscle groups such as the buttocks, thighs, and abdomen; sweating, a respiratory response; and the relaxation that follows all contribute to the intense pleasure of orgasm. These may occur to varying degrees during a particular sexual experience and as a man ages. Consequently, a man may have a satisfying experience without ejaculation. If the other aspects of arousal and orgasm are present, there may be no cause for concern.

One explanation for this may be that he is having “retrograde” ejaculations. In this condition the seminal fluid is directed back up the urethra into the bladder rather than externally out of the penis. But this could be treated if you both so desire. It is also possible for ejaculation to be inhibited by psychological factors (such as fear of pregnancy or financial stress), physical factors (such as fatigue or alcohol use), or as side effects from some medications (such as tranquilizers and antidepressants).

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